Friday, August 12, 2011
Love Stories: A Mother's Love
Two weeks go by. Two weeks of utter exhaustion, of sleeping a total of three hours in half hour spurts, of a crying baby I have no idea what to do with. Two weeks of me crying and thinking I made the biggest mistake of my life and wishing I could take it all back. I think I’m an awful mother because I’m supposed to be so happy and in love. Then she finishes nursing, and I put her over my shoulder to burp her. And she spits up blood.
My mother-in-law panics. My mother panics. Suddenly my heart starts breaking in half. I look at her and all I want is for her to be fine. My midwife tells me to go to the emergency room.
I panic. I stop breathing. I stop.
In emergency she stops spitting up blood. They check her vitals. And they examine her thoroughly. She’s fine. She’s clearing out birth blood that’s been in her system and is just now being purged. I have a healthy baby girl. I get to take her home. I breathe again.
I’m thankful every day. She makes me laugh every day. She chases the dog everyday – sometimes she even wins. And she amazes me everyday.
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